Family: Not As Easy As It Looks
by xXxEpicallyxXxEpicxXx
Summary: One-shot. In which the Avengers are your standard suburban family... Kind of... AU


**Heyyy! Look who's back to write another marvel fic that sucks! I don't own anything at all. And the idea in the fanfiction is probably so overdone, I can't call dibs on that either. But hey...**

**Bruce is 16, Natasha and Clint are twins age 12, Thor and Loki are 7 and 3  
**

* * *

Tony stark fixed his hair with a smile on his face. He and Steve were going out to dinner for once without the hellions they called their children. It wasn't that he didn't love them; it was just how wild they could be. As if on cue, a glass broke in the kitchen and someone was crying. Oh how Tony hated his maternal instinct...

He ran out into the kitchen to see Thor holding Loki away from the broken glass and Bruce cleaning up the mess. "No, Loki, thtop try- Papa! Look what Loki did!" Thor ratted on his baby brother and the toddler looked horrified.

"Is anyone hurt?" Tony shook his head and asked as he bent down and helped his eldest son with the mess. Bruce wasn't much of a talker, but when he did talk, Tony had always taken time to listen. Before the others came around, it was so much easier to pay attention to him.

"No Papa, we're okay." Thor smiled. He had just lost another front tooth that morning and it gave him a lisp. Once the glass was off the floor, Loki broke free from Thor's grasp and ran to Tony.

"Mommy, you're not mad that I broke it are you? I wanted to be a big boy and drink from a glass like you and Daddy and Bruce..." Loki tugged Tony's pants as Bruce took the glass and chuckled. Loki was the only one that referred to Tony as 'Mommy' and to be honest, he found it cute.

"No, I'm not mad at you. As long as everyone is okay, that's what I care about." Tony smiled and picked his youngest up off the floor. "Now where are Natasha and Clint?"

"They're outside playing on the jungle gym playing assassins again." Bruce pointed through the kitchen window as Tony peered outside. There was Natasha with an empty dart gun and Clint with a fake bow. They were kind of cute.

"Thank you, Bruce. You know, if these kids were more like you, raising them would be a lot easier." Tony patted the teen's shoulder and they both had a small laugh. Bruce had a lot of anger issues and everyone knew it. That was why he was never left in charge of the younger kids. And plus, he only had his learner's permit so if something happened, he couldn't drive them anywhere like Nick could.

Bruce just shook his head with a smile and went upstairs. "Have fun tonight, Pop..." Loki whined and tugged the front of Tony's shirt, desperate for all the attention always.

"What ith it, Loki?" Thor asked, always trying to be a good big brother. Loki just stuck his tongue out at the other boy. Thor had a hurt look and huffed angrily. "Thith ith why the other kidth at your prethchool are alwayth picking on you. You can be so rude."

"NUH-UH! SHUT UP THOR!" Loki screamed and tried to lash out at the blonde. Tony grabbed his little arm and just stared at him. "S-Sorry, Mommy... I didn't mean to yell at him..." the little boy looked like he was about to cry until the front door opened and closed. "Daddy!" Loki squirmed out of Tony's arms and hit the ground with a soft 'thud' before running for the blond man.

"Hey there, Loki!" Steve scooped up his youngest son before grabbing Thor as well. "Thor, I see you lost another tooth. Remember what I said about putting the tooth under your pillow for the tooth fairy."

As if sensing his presence, Natasha and Clint ran into the house, bombarding their father. "Daddy!" they chimed in unison. Tony watched the entire scene from the safety of the kitchen doorway.

"How was work?" he asked as his husband shuffled over to him, weighed down by a bunch of kids, and gave him a tender kiss. While the two older kids made gagging noises, Thor stared wide-eyed as Loki blushed and buried his face. "I'm assuming good."

"Fantastic, Tony! I finally got that promotion I told you about." That meant Steve never had to leave town anymore. That's what Tony loved about his husband. Even though Tony still had plenty of money coming in from Stark Industries, Steve insisted he take care of everything with his FBI salary.

"Steve, that's great! Where do you want to go to celebrate?" He asked as he picked Natasha up off the floor and pulled a twig out of his daughter's hair. Before Steve had the chance to reply, Tony's cell phone began to ring.

'Hi, Mr. Stark? It's Nick's mother.'

"Hello, Mrs. Fury. Is Nick almost here and he forgot his phone?"

'Actually, he's got the flu and I don't want him leaving bed.'

"Oh no..." Steve watched Tony deflate. "Well, I hope he feels better soon." With that, they said their good-byes and hung up. "Nick's got the flu. See, this is why I told you we need a professional, live-in nanny."

"We're not getting a nanny." Steve sighed as all the kids stared up at him. "I know you want to go out, but..." then a brilliant idea struck him. "Why don't we all go out to celebrate? We can go somewhere nice but at the same time family-oriented."

Naturally, there was a chorus of cheers coming from their brood.

"S-sure..." Tony nodded in defeat. Steve always won. The only time they really argued was when it came to money. "That means you get to get Stinky and Dirty down there clean." He took Thor and Loki and trudged up the stairs to get them dressed.

That meant they had no choice but to take the mini-van... Tony hated the mini-van. Bruce was standing outside his door. "Should I get dressed too, or should I stay here?"

"Clearly, you're getting dressed. I'll get Loki and Thor. When Natasha and Clint get out of their showers, I'll have your father take care of them. Besides, there's no way I'm going out without you." With a wide smile, he mouthed the words 'you're my favorite.' before carrying the two youngest to their bedroom.

It looked like a page right out of a Norse Story book. Tony smiled. All of his children had themed rooms expect Bruce. Bruce did his own decorating. "Mommy, lemme go. I want to get dressed myself!" Loki squirmed out of Tony's grasp again and ran to his bed to grab his bear.

"Loki, now isn't play time, it's dress time." Tony grabbed a set of relatively nice clothes from the young boy's closet. No matter where they went, Loki always managed to get more food on him than in him. Thor was just as bad though.

"But, Papa... I don't want to go out I want to thtay with Nick tonight." Thor whined as Tony dressed Loki. "Why can't Nick come over and play?"

"He's sick, Thor. You guys have to go out with us tonight. I know you don't want to, but it'll make Daddy happy for all of us to go out together." After getting Loki dressed, the little boy ran out of the room to find his father. The blond boy pulled his clothes off, revealing his superhero undies.

"Well I can dreth mythelf, Papa. You know Loki will probably get dirty again if thomeone ithn't watching him." Tony dropped Thor's clothes on his head and laughed.

"You know, if I didn't know better, I would think you were Loki's dad. You sure are a great big brother." Hearing those words made the little boy grin stupidly and inhale excitedly.

"You really think tho?" Tony nodded as Thor quickly got dressed. "Wow, Papa! Thank you!"

"No problem little man, now will you get socks for you and Loki?" the parent asked as he grabbed two pairs of shoes from the closet. The boy handed him two pairs of white socks. "Thank you, thank you."

* * *

The car ride over was a wild one. With five kids of various ages, it was hard for Tony to keep them relaxed while Steve drove. By the time they got there, he needed a strong drink. The next thing he knew, the van stopped. It was a family place. A family place that didn't serve alcohol. Tony was going to kill Steve when they got home.

"Alright kids! Out we go." Steve chimed before helping Loki and Thor out of their car seats. Tony shot him a look, knowing exactly what this night would be like. Bruce made sure to keep a very close eye on youngest two as they ran from the car. They kept close to Steve though in fear of feeling their father's wrath.

Natasha stood by Tony, picking on Clint as they waited for everyone else to go inside. The boy popped her in the face and ducked under her return swing. The girl whined and kicked him in the shin. "Clint, leave me alone and go play with someone else. Like yourself." At their age, her words made them both giggle.

"Kids, please. I know you're at that age in your life, but Daddy really would appreciate it if you acted like grown-ups tonight." Not only were Tony and Steve a gay couple, they had five children. If they couldn't prove they had control over their family, there was a likely chance that they could be taken away.

"Yes sir." Clint nodded before popping Natasha's hand. The redhead rolled her eyes and hit him in the back of the head. Bruce watched them before ushering them inside behind Tony and Steve.

"Rogers family, table for five and a booster seat." Steve smiled to the hostess when they entered the building. The look on Tony's face was one of shock and anger. Steve had planned this all along, hadn't he? Oh he would get his revenge for sure. No doubt about that. The hostess gave him a charmed smile and led the way to a table in the back. Another waiter grabbed a booster seat for Loki.

Loki pouted when he saw the seat. But when he realized he would be between Steve and Tony, he was all smiles. He considered that spot to be the center of attention and that was what he wanted all the time. Always.

Somehow Clint had managed to get on the outside across from Tony. Natasha was so annoyed. She kept tossing little scraps of paper from her napkin at him. Poor Bruce was between them and every other piece she threw would bounce off his head. The teen shot Tony a pleading look.

"So kids, what all do you want to drink?" Steve asked as the waitress came with a basket of bread. Loki reached out and tried to grab the entire basket. "Loki, son. Please don't do that."

The little boy stopped instantly and nodded. "I want chocolate milk." he smiled as Tony handed him a biscuit. The other kids ordered their drinks as well, and when Tony finally got the chance, he motioned for the waitress to lean down.

"I'll have a martini. Great, thanks." he nodded before turning back to his family.

"We're sorry sir, we don't serve alcohol at this establishment." she gave him an apologetic look as Clint tossed a roll at Natasha.

"What do you mean you don't serve alcohol here? Do you not see this? I deal with this all day every day. I need alcohol. Bring me a martini. Even if you have to go to the liquor store and get the materials yourself." his voice was laced with malice as he spoke. "Do you not know who I am? I'm Tony Stark."

"O-okay sir, I'll see what we can do." she nodded and ran to the back so the family could decide what they wanted to eat. There was the angry look from Steve as Loki tried to get another biscuit.

"Don't give me that look, dear." Tony took the biscuit Natasha was about to toss at Clint and handed it to Loki. "This is your last one, little man. You'll spoil your dinner."

"But I'm hungry." As he spoke, he picked pieces from the lump of dough and dropped them in his lap. Steve tried not to laugh as he turned to Thor and asked him about school. Oh how Tony hated the days where his children got to stay home from school. Except Bruce. Bruce was the only normal child...

"Loki, you're not hungry. You're jutht making a meth." Thor scolded his younger brother in an attempt to help their parents. The youngest child grabbed a handful of his mutilated bread and threw it at Thor. "Papa, did you thee what he jutht did?"

"Thor, please." Steve shushed his son as Tony picked up Loki and carted him off to the bathroom. They were going to have a little talk. And leave Steve there to deal with the others.

"I'm sorry, Mommy. But Thor isn't you or Daddy. He has no right to talk to me like that." Loki crossed his arms over his chest as he was sat down on the counter.

"I know he's not, but he just wants to be a great big brother to you. He wants you to be healthy and happy." Tony explained as he wiped away breadcrumbs. "Do you understand?"

"I don't want him to be my big brother. I want him to go away. He's stupid and he smells like butts and I hate him." the boy huffed and slumped against Tony's chest. The adult just sighed and played with his baby's long hair.

"I know, I know. But how about you pretend to like him? For Mommy's sake?" Tony wasn't used to this. He had only decided to be a stay-at-home parent when Natasha was born. It was so much harder than he thought it was. Loki's reasoning was kind of cute though.

"I can only try..." the little boy squirmed until Tony set him back on the floor. "Are we going to eat dinner now? Because I want whatever Bruce is having." Tony smiled. There were quite a lot of similarities between his oldest and youngest sons.

"We'll see." They walked from the bathroom and sat back down as the drinks came. The waitress informed Tony that it was impossible to make his martini, but they got him a Tequila Sunrise. That was good enough for the billionaire.

Dinner was ordered and Bruce had to excuse himself to get away from his younger siblings for a few minutes. Steve and Tony talked about their days and how good or bad they went. It was all fine until Natasha's final wad of paper accidentally hit Steve in the face. "That's it. Natasha, trade places with Loki." Naturally, the little boy whined as Tony moved him.

"Why am I getting punished?" he asked as Tony ran a hand through his long hair again. "It's not fair."

"Well, at leatht you're by me now, Loki." Thor smiled. Loki just slumped forward and sighed dramatically. Yeah, he was definitely related to Tony Stark. Thor pouted and looked over at Steve for some sort of fatherly wisdom.

Tony was already done with his drink by the time the kids all figured out what they wanted. But the food was ordered and drinks refilled. That was a good thing until everyone had to use the bathroom at the same time... "Steve, you take the boys while I sit here and wait for dinner to get here with Bruce. Natasha, honey, the girl's bathroom is right next to the boys so that means when you're done wait for Daddy and your brothers." Tony was too good at being maternal... Sometimes... Not really. No he wasn't.

* * *

Dinner had arrived and Tony had already downed three Tequila Sunrises. Clint and Natasha were making faces at one another and showing off their food. Oh twins. How cute. Bruce was of course eating quietly and texting his psychiatrist under the table. Then there was Thor and Loki. Thor was trying his hardest to get Loki to eat his vegetables. Loki was refusing.

"Loki, eat your vegetableth or you won't grow up like Daddy. You'll be weak and thtringy your entire life. Do you want to be weak and thtringy?" Thor lisped with a smile on his face. Steve was too busy getting the check ready to see what happened next, but he certainly felt it.

Loki violently knocked his fork from Thor's hand and shouted: "I DO WHAT I WANT, THOR!" as the vegetables hit his father in the neck. Steve gasped and turned to Loki as Tony just laughed it off. Steve deserved it. The jerk.

"Look what you did, Loki." Natasha whined as she picked vegetables out of her pasta. Clint snickered as she made a face at him.

"Serves you right, Nat. That was for pushing me off the backyard swing." Clint was given a stern look as Tony took the check and handed it to their waitress. That bitch wasn't getting a tip.

"Clint, behave. Loki, that's not nice. Natasha, it's just pasta and you're done anyway." Tony stood and ushered everyone out of the booth. Steve was going to get it when they got home. That was for sure. He wouldn't stand for the way dinner went. That kind of thing happening at home was no big deal. It happened all the time. But Steve could have warned him ahead of time that this was happening. Ass.

BREAK HERE

"Sometimes I wonder what I see in you." Tony sighed as he put on his pajamas. Steve stood against the doorframe of the bathroom as he watched patiently. Tony was the most attractive male he had ever seen. "Let's have sex."

"If you're up to it," grinned the blond as he apprached his lover, hands trailing down the other's body. "But of course, if you're not up to it…" There was no changing Tony's mind. It was what he loved about him.

"I want this Steve. You have no idea as to how much I want you… How much I need you." Tony didn't realize he had been clutching his husband's shirt until he had to let go. "That came out too strong, but it's true." he chuckled as he smoothed out Steve's shirt.

That was all Steve needed to hear; the way he said, how much he wanted it. He laughed at how it came out, hands wrapping around Tony's neck for another kiss. He leaned down, deepening the kiss and slipped his tongue inside. It felt so right to have Tony at his mercy, to taste him, to be loving him. He missed this - missed every bit of him when he had to go out of town for one reason or another. Steve's wet muscle explored every inch his hot cavern, indulging in the taste he loved so much. It was only when the need of air became an issue did he pull away, breathing heavily. "God, do I love this."

When they pulled away, Tony was panting heavily and smiling. "I do too. Do you want to move to the bed, or do you want to fuck me senseless against the wall like our first time?" The older male was pulling at his pajama pants as he began nibbling Steve's neck. Steve's hands moved quickly to rid Tony of his shirt, finger slipping under and throwing it over his head. He growled possesively, moving his lips down to graze his lover's neck lightly. His lips latched on, sucking hard and long. As his mouth worked on Tony's neck, his hands worked on the man's boxers. He hummed and tugged them down.

Steve's movements made the Stark moan in excitement. It had felt so long since he and the FBI agent had been together last. "Oh my god Steve!" Tony almost giggled when his boxers were removed so quickly. The man was taking charge and it sent a shiver down his spine. He had probably told Steve once before, but he loved being dominated. "Please don't stop, okay?"

And just like Tony wanted, Steve didnt stop. He threw off his robe and tugged off his shirt. His boxers lay crumbled beside the bed as his attention snapped back to the beautiful man in front of him. As he began to determinedly mark him, a hand grabbed at Tony's member, squeezing it playfully. His own member came to life, the arousal hardening. He couldn't believe how quickly he was hard too, and it was beginning to ache with need. He quickly climbed above him, rubbing their arousals together to create delicious friction. Grinning down at Tony, he began to rub their hips together.

"Which way do you want it?" Steve whispered, fingers stroking at Tony's erection. "Soft and gentle…taking my sweet time preparing you and teasing? Or should I just fuck you hard and raw right now? Hmm? Which is it, Tone?"

At the friction Steve created, Tony's body shook with ache. When the younger male asked him such a simple question, he moaned in delight. "Right now, just like this. Hard and raw until you know there's no chance of me leaving you tomorrow." he gave Steve's hair a gentle tug and grinned. "Then, you can make me breakfast in bed tomorrow~"

"Breakfast in bed?," Steve whispered as he leaned in to trail his lips lightly over Tony's face. "My, aren't we a pampered man." Satisfied with Tony's response, Steve guided the thick organ to Tony's opening, resting it there gently. His slick member rubbed against there teasingly for a moment, before Steve suddenly slammed in right to the hilt, smirking at Tony's gasp. The blond caught the raven's lips gently and briefly before leaning back and smiling at him. He moaned slightly as he leaned in, feeling himself tremble as he filled Tony completely. The feeling was heavenly, being able to push this far inside him. His hands gripped at his hips for a moment before he suddenly pulled almost all the way and then slammed back in.

The first quick, rough penetration caught Tony off-guard and he gasped in shock before moaning. Steve filled him so completely and Tony almost pouted when he felt the younegr pull out so that just it was just the head. Realizing what he was about to do, Tony moaned again. The force of Steve's thrust pushed him into the mattress and made Tony's body quiver. "More, please~"

Steve groaned as he felt himself sheath Tony completely once more, feeling the warm on his hot walls. He stroked his back as he moaned in ecstasy, pulling Tony closer. Steve claimed his lover's lips again, his own tongue sliding inside and mapping it out eagerly. He groaned when Tony's taste hit him once again, delicious, sweet and addictive. It was purely Steve's, and his alone! The feeling of want and need drove his actions, lustful and greedy. With a guttural groan Steve broke the kiss, and created another love bite. He growled at the sight of it, the fresh mark standing out entirely. "You are mine," he murmured, staring deeply into Tony's dark orbs. "I need to do this. I need to claim you, own you, dominate you."

His hands pushed the raven's thighs further apart, gripping tightly at the inner thighs. He rubbed at it less than gently -there would be more than likely bruising later on. Positioning himself for a better angle, he continued pounding into Tony, grunting with every thrust. The room was soon filled with the sound of skin slapping together, Steve's low grunts and Tony's methodic moaning. Steve loved the harmony, and realized thankful he was that Tony paid extra for their room to be sound-proofed.

"Don't you forget who you belong to!" Steve growled, the thought of Tony being with other men in the back of his mind. It sparked his anger, as his thrusting grew quicker and deeper, until he was sure the man could feel it to his core. He wanted to mark what was specifically his.

There was something more than just carnal desire between them and the fact that Steve was desperate to claim Tony, to mark him as his, made the older male's heart pound faster. He dug his nails into the back of Steve's neck as the blond marked him. "I will always be yours, Steve Rogers." He couldn't stop his moaning if he wanted to. Being pounded into mercilessly was driving him wild. Tony lost the ability to speak as he wrapped his legs around Steve's body.

"Fuck," groaned Steve, feeling the nails against his neck. As they dug in, he felt his desire grow and the need getting heavier. He thrust in, abusing Tony's poor prostate with each thrust, hitting the mark each and everytime. He could only imagine how it felt for the older man, this feeling. With his legs wrapped around his body, he went deeper and deeper each time, wondering just how far he could even go. He moved his free hand down to Tony's length, stroking and pumping it. With a couple more strokes, he could feel his insides constrict, and he emptied his seed inside the raven. Tony came not long after, right into his jerking hand.

As Tony lay there, completely satisfied, he looked up at Steve with a weak smile, hoping he felt the same. His ability to breathe was returning and he brought a shaking hand up to his husband's face to cup his cheek. "So -ah- amazing…" every muscle in his body trembled as a result from the assault he had just endured. With his other hand he brought the hand Steve used to bring him off up to his mouth and licked away his cum. "I love you, Steve."

"Shh, don't talk," Steve shushed, placing the clean finger to his lips. "Just stay like this. I want to enjoy the moment." He closed his eyes and his breathing grew quiet. He was happy. The entire night went just as beautifully as he could ever have hoped for. He didn't fall asleep, but he laid there, feeling very satisfied.

Tony just stared at him. Steve was so strong and so handsome. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he wanted nothing more than to be with him. The industry could go fuck themself. Tony snuggled into his lover and sighed contentedly.

With one hand rubbing Tony's side, he leaned closer into the touch, nuzzling his head into his. It was a sweet touch, soft and gentle. Despite his last words, he said in a murmuring voice, "How're you doing, baby?"

"Like my world was just conquered by a god. You?" Tony chuckled and drew patterns on Steve's chest. He wanted to stay like that as long as he could. They would probably have a million more moments like the one they were having, but that didn't mean he didn't want to cherish every one of them.

"Like a million bucks," Steve smiled, shivering at the touch. He felt slightly chilled, but indefinitely warm at the same time. It was something he couldn't explain, but somehow it felt good and right. He laid there wondering just what he could be feeling until it finally hit him. Like he belonged.

Tony rolled away slightly and say up. He really hated moving away from Steve, but he had no choice. As he tried to stand, his legs gave out from under him and he hit the floor. "Ssstttteeeeevvvveeeeeeee!" whined the older male as he turned around to face him. "Steve, look what you did…." he looked down and blushed before mumbling: "I have to pee…"

"You can hardly blame me when you're the one asking to be fucked raw," smirked Steve, stopping down to help Tony up. He wrapped his husband's arm around his neck and carried on his weight. He gave his ass a nice firm grope, and hauled him off to the bathroom. "You don't need help peeing, do you?" asked Steve, slipping a hand around Tony's member. He gave it a light slap, and chuckled. "Because I could give you a little bit of guidance if you needed it."

Tony looked down and blushed as Steve helped him up. "It's not my fault my body is desperate for you…" a small gasp escaped his lips when the blond groped him. "Shut up. I shouldn't need help if I can stand for more than a minute. Because I'm not sitting down. That's just weird." Despite the embarrassment, Tony leaned against Steve as if her were a wall. Which compared to him in his weakened state, he technically was.

"You're so cute when you do that," Steve laughed, feeling Tony shake as he did so. The older man was just so indescribable sometimes. But he loved it. He loved every part of him. Maybe the physical part a little bit more…but loved him nonetheless. "You look like you're gonna fall over any minute now. Pee."

* * *

The next morning, Steve was downstairs making breakfast for their children while Tony slept off the night before. Good. That's what the raven got for drinking in a family environment. Home was different though. Tony only drank when they had the night alone. Which was great. He used to be a heavy alcoholic. Now he was a social drinker...

"Daddy, you'll burn the pattycakes." Loki stared from his at-home booster seat that was actually the devil and he hated it because it had a seatbelt to keep him from slipping away.

"No, Loki. They're thaid 'pancaketh.'" Thor would never stop trying to get Loki to be his best friend. Steve smiled and shook his head as he removed the hot cakes from the pan and put two on Thor's plate and one on Loki's. Natasha and Clint were still asleep and Bruce had already had a bowl of cereal. So independent. It always made Steve proud.

"I call them what I want, Thor. You mad?" Steve laughed as he cut Loki's pancake. He moved over to cut Thor's as the younger boy tried to reach for the syrup.

"Loki, wait. I'll do that for you." the blond man moved the syrup away before Loki could tip it over and get it everywhere. After cutting both Loki and Thor's pancakes, he poured syrup on both plates. According to the note in the fridge it was always breakfast then a bath to wash away the mess Loki had made. Steve could do this. No problem. How hard could being the stay-at-home-for-a-day parent be?

* * *

**Yup. Terrible. I suck at smut. I was gonna get my friend from aff Spiraling to do it, but it would have been too good...**

**Feedback is greatly appreciated. Any kind of feedback.  
**


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